Truth in Memoirs

Below are two stories.  For Sergei’s book, The Persecutor, he made cassette tapes which were later transcribed by his editors to tell his story.  A Rose for Sergei is based on the conversations that Sergei and I had during the time we knew each other.  The facts are the same in each story, but they are told in very different ways.

From The Persecutor.  Sergei’s account of his story, retold by editors:

I instinctively knew something was wrong and was terribly frightened.  Then suddenly he grabbed me by the shoulders and began pushing me down in the bathtub until my head was completely submerged.  I struggled to get free and gasp for breath, knowing now that Andrei was trying to kill me.  I tried to shout for help and got a big mouthful of water.  I fought furiously, but Andrei was strong.  Then in sheerest desperation, I pushed and struggled and splashed until I managed to free myself and scrambled out of the tub.  I fled from the bathroom....

Even at the age of six, I knew that with Andrei in the house my life would always be in danger, there in my foster home.  So I made a big decision.  Hurrying to my room, I gathered up some of my clothes, those I could carry easily, stuffed them into a paper bag, and left...forever.

-Sergei Kourdakov, The Persecutor (Chapter 4, pg. 34)

From A Rose for Sergei:

In my mind, his entire upbringing was heartbreaking.  Sergei was born in Novosibirsk in the Soviet Union.  He became an orphan when he was four years old.  His father was killed while serving in the Soviet Army.  Soon after that his mother died, and Sergei was taken in by family friends.  The family welcomed him but after a few years their troubled son took his anger out on Sergei.

“The boy put hands on my neck and shoulders.  He pushed me under the water in the bathtub.  He held me there; he tried to kill me.  I thought I was going to die.”  I was stunned when Sergei put his hands on his throat to demonstrate.  For only a fraction of a second I saw the hurt and sadness in Sergei’s eyes as he recalled that frightening memory.  In that instant I saw the little boy that he was never allowed to be.  He quickly pushed those feelings aside and continued talking in his strong, confident manner.  “I fought to get away from this boy.  I fought him hard.  I do not understand why he did this.  I was just little boy.”  Sergei shook his head slowly back and forth, “I think maybe he had problem in his mind.”  Fearful of eventually being killed by the son, Sergei had no other choice but to run away and try to live on the streets.  He was six years old but was determined to survive.  It was difficult to hear how Sergei’s life had been turned upside down…I felt the pain in his voice.

* * * 

Which account is true?  They both are.  I know there has been a lot of discussion about whether Sergei’s memoir is true.  Even though Sergei needed an editor to tie his story together in his book, they were always Sergei’s words.  A story retold...is still the same story.