Confidence is Over Rated

“How do you find confidence?”  I couldn’t help overhearing the conversation between two women seated near me while waiting for an appointment.  The question was definitely thought provoking and really grabbed my attention.  In most circumstances I would have remained silent and continued reading my magazine.  The urgency in her voice, however, made it clear that she wanted an answer from someone . . . from anyone.  The person asking the question mentioned that her lack of confidence, from a recent lay-off, was preventing her from finding employment.

“It’s normal to lose confidence after a lay-off; anyone would feel that way,” I offered.

“But how do I get my confidence back?” she persisted.

I listened to her past work experience and knew she was qualified for many positions.  The lay-off had thrown her a curve ball and she couldn’t bounce back.  “Sometimes we just need to tell ourselves to get out there and do what we need to do anyway.  We need to push ourselves to try new things . . . even if we don’t have the confidence.  The trying, the pushing forward, is what gives us confidence in the end.”  I shared with her that when I first started writing A Rose for Sergei, I didn’t have any confidence in my ability to write a book.  I also knew that if I sat around waiting for confidence I would still be sitting at my computer, all these months later, staring at a blank screen.

Confidence comes from learning, from trying something new, from succeeding . . . and also from failing.  “Push ahead anyway,” I suggested.  “Don’t wait for confidence to find you.  You might be surprised at what you can accomplish without it.”