They Could Never Take His Heart

In Sergei Kourdakov’s book he wrote about his good friend Sasha who lived in the children’s home with him in Barysevo.  Food was very scarce in 1963 due to a food shortage and Sasha became so weakened from malnutrition that he could not even get out of his own bed.  One day after school, Sergei went to check on Sasha.

 

“There was no response.  I peeked under the covers.  His face was white and frigid, and I knew he was dead.  My friend Sasha had died alone and no one had even noticed that the life had gone from his little body.

 

Sasha’s death hit me hard.  Of all that took place at Barysevo, it had the greatest impact on me in changing my attitude and outlook on life.  From Sasha’s death, I realized many things.  First of all, that life is the survival of the fittest.  It is a jungle.  The strong will live.  The tough will make it.  The weak will lose or die.”

 

I walked from that room fighting back tears and vowing if this is how life is, I will be the toughest, the strongest, the smartest.”

-Sergei Kourdakov, The Persecutor (Chapter 6, pg. 65)

 

I never knew about Sasha until I read Sergei’s book which was published after his own death.  When I read the part about Sasha dying alone it also hit me hard, just as it did Sergei.  It reminded me that Sergei died alone and the memory broke my heart.  

 

Sergei did try to become the toughest and the strongest.  Who Sergei was in the Soviet Union was the person he had to become in order to survive.  He was molded to fit into the role that he needed to be at the time.  But he had a more sensitive side that no one ever knew about, he had a kind heart.  I was able to see that side of him because that was the one thing they could never take away from Sergei.  They could never take his heart.