Impact

Richard was a friend I was dating before I met Sergei Kourdakov.  One Friday evening we were driving on the Capital Beltway on our way to dinner.  Forty years ago the beltway was merely a four-lane divided highway that looped around Washington DC.  Back then it seemed more like a garden style parkway with its huge span of green grass separating both sides of the road, unlike the super highway it is today. 

Richard and I were talking and laughing as we drove until we spotted a car in the opposite lanes of the highway leave the marked pavement.  The disoriented driver maneuvered his car onto the wide green span of grass that separated the asphalt lanes.  The driver was surely intoxicated because it was a suicide mission to try a U-turn on a high speed highway.  And Richard and I were in his path.

I tried to slide my body into the corner of the front passenger seat to brace for the impact.  We were going to crash into the oncoming car and it was going to be bad.  I was sure we would all die and I was frightened beyond belief.

At that split second before impact, before what I thought was death, I closed my eyes.  My thoughts were of my Mother, Father, and of my brothers and sisters.  I remember thinking about how much my Mother would miss me if I was gone and I asked God to help her.  In that split second my entire life flashed before my eyes.  It was like a picture slide show at light speed.  I saw all of the people that I loved the most.  I felt the car spin and then we stopped abruptly.  I felt no pain.  When I opened my eyes all I could see was blinding bright light.

There was no impact.  There was no collision.  This was not possible.  Before I closed my eyes I saw the drunk driver whip in front of us, just inches away from the front of our car.  Richard’s racing experience took over at that point.  He stopped his car on a dime by hitting the brakes and forcing the car to slide into a 180 degree spin.  We were still in our lane but now facing the oncoming traffic.  The brilliant light I was seeing was not The Light after all.  I saw the headlights of all the other cars that managed to come to a screeching halt.  We were slightly dazed and confused by the enormity of the situation, but Richard managed to turn the car around and we drove on our way.  The drunk driver had disappeared and was nowhere to be seen.

On Saturday afternoon Richard drove back to the scene of the almost-accident.  He pulled off to the side of the road and walked around to get a clear view of the skid marks.  What he saw was nothing short of a miracle.  He said the skid marks from both cars almost intersected. There was no way we could have avoided that accident.  I told him it wasn’t our time, someone was watching over us.  I never told him about my prayer or about the part where I saw my life flash by in an instant. 

As time passed, when I thought about the last second of Sergei’s life, I wondered if his life flashed before his eyes.  In that split second before impact did he see the people he loved the most?  I wondered if he saw his Mother and Father.   I wondered if he saw me.