Sergei Kourdakov – Battle for Survival

Sergei Kourdakov died mysteriously fifty-two years ago. And still…people from all over the world want to know more about him! I can absolutely understand that. Sergei’s life was anything but ordinary. He grew up in a Soviet orphanage, was recruited by the KGB, defected from the USSR, and later talked about his newly found Christian faith while he was in the United States.

When Sergei and I met at my U.S. Federal Government office in Washington, DC we were just 21 years old. We began dating, and I heard his story first hand. My book, A Rose for Sergei, is the true story of our time together. At a recent book signing I was asked by several people how Sergei survived his jump from a Soviet trawler into the frigid waters off the coast of British Columbia in Canada. My response was always the same, “Sergei’s battle for survival in the ocean was a miracle.”

* * *

  From The Persecutor by Sergei Kourdakov, Chapter 2, Battle for Survival:              

“Slowly, ever so gradually, I could sense something strange happening. Though I had been drained of every ounce of energy, I sensed a new strength flowing into my tired arms. I felt the strong and loving arms of the living God in the water….

And, strangest of all, I could sense what general direction to take! I could sense where the shore lay. Even when the tossing waves spun me about, I could come right back to the path I somehow knew would lead to shore. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. All I knew was that my life was going to be spared.”

* * *

The question regarding how Sergei survived his treacherous swim stayed with me long after that book event. I tried to envision that stormy night and what Sergei might have sensed as he desperately struggled to head in the right direction. Instead of putting my thoughts down on paper, I decided to paint a picture of the night Sergei Kourdakov swam toward freedom and a new life.

Sergei Kourdakov - "Survival"
Painting by K. Kidd

Sergei Kourdakov – A Moment in Time

It’s been fifty-one years since Sergei Kourdakov tragically died at the age of twenty-one. It was reported to be an accident…that he accidentally shot himself. I never believed that though. I didn’t believe it fifty-one years ago, and I don’t believe it now.

My true story, A Rose for Sergei, was published in 2014. Since that time, I’ve continued to give book talks. During a typical Question/Answer session I’m usually asked, “What really happened to Sergei?” My response is always the same, “I wish I knew the answer to that question.”

It’s not uncommon after I’ve given a book talk that someone from the group will come up to me and quietly mention they work/worked in the intelligence field for the U.S. Federal Government. That statement is followed by these whispered words – “Sergei did not accidentally shoot himself. There is more to the story.”

A few months ago I had the opportunity to speak about Sergei Kourdakov with a group of women in Arlington, Virginia. The location was very close to the apartment I had lived in when I met Sergei. It was heartening to be back in my old neighborhood where so much had happened. I felt a strong connection to Arlington, and in turn to these women, as I began by telling them that my story actually took place just a few miles down the road. That connection inspired me to speak candidly about Sergei’s life and the time we shared together. The following week I received a thank you email from the hostess. Part of the note is below:

“You had us all spellbound. You could have heard a pin drop.”

“Your story is fascinating. To have the author be the one to tell her story and then answer questions was a gift.”

“You spoke with such candor and passion about Sergei; it was a remarkable moment in time for the two of you.”

I was touched, honored really, to read such kind words about my book talk. And yes, you could have heard a pin drop during my presentation. It was the last sentence, however, that truly struck a chord. Looking back, Sergei and I did share a remarkable moment in time.

*  *  *

Sergei Kourdakov | It Didn’t Make Sense

Soviet KGB defector Sergei Kourdakov leaped from a Russian trawler in 1971, leaving behind a horrific life he could no longer face. I met Sergei a year later at my U.S. Federal Government office in Washington DC. My boss, Mr. Kirk Logie, was the one who introduced us. Sergei and I were both twenty-one at the time and we began dating…me throwing caution to the wind knowing we were being watched and followed. “If anything happens to me,” Sergei confided, “they will make it look like an accident.” Nothing could have ever prepared me for what was to come. 

* * * 

Excerpt from Publisher’s Note in Sergei Kourdakov’s Book:

“On January 1, 1973, he died instantly from a shot from the gun. Though news of his death was first carried internationally as a suicide, this possibility was soon ruled out. An inquest was held and on March 1, 1973, ruled his death to be an accident.” 

* * * 

Fifty years ago, on January 10, 1973, I stood at the grave site of Sergei Kourdakov in Rock Creek Cemetery in Washington DC. Below is an excerpt from my memoir, A Rose for Sergei. 

Chapter 21 – Winter 1973 

“It didn’t make sense; it wasn’t fair that his life was cut short at twenty-one years of age. He had turned his life around and there was so much he wanted to accomplish. He had told me that the final draft of his book was done, and he hoped it would be published soon. His life was really just beginning…and now it was over.

 

I thought I was prepared for the funeral…. However, I was not prepared for the emotional toll of a final goodbye. The funeral was on a weekday, so we left work early. Once again Mr. and Mrs. Logie were with me.

 

I was surprised at how many people there were at the church for the funeral service. It was crowded, and we had to stand the entire time. We were near the back of the church, but I could see that the casket was open. I could see Sergei, and my heart filled with pain. Even though the church was packed with people, he looked so alone. My heart was breaking for him. I would not cry though; I had cried enough the day he died.

 

At one point in the service everyone was given a lighted candle to hold. It was suffocating, the heat from the crowd and the heat from the candles. I couldn’t take my coat off, and I thought I would fall over; I was emotionally drained. I barely heard what was said during the service…. When the service was over we went to the grave site, Sergei’s final destination.

 

Everyone was gathered around Sergei’s casket at the cemetery and when we arrived we were near the back of the crowd again. We were so far away I couldn’t see at all, but I didn’t say anything. On impulse, Mr. Logie grabbed hold of Mrs. Logie’s arm and my arm and determinedly worked his way to the front of the crowd, pulling us steadily forward. I secretly gave thanks for Mr. Logie’s take-charge actions as he boldly pushed past DC dignitaries. He stopped when we were directly along one side of Sergei. We could not get any closer than we were. I could almost reach out and touch Sergei, the casket was still open. I could see him one last time.”

Sergei’s book was published under three titles:

The Persecutor

Forgive Me, Natasha

Sergei

Sergei Kourdakov | Notes from the Motherland

Even though Sergei Kourdakov’s book was published in 1973, it’s always uplifting for me to know that people are still searching for information about him. Thus it was a pleasant surprise when I received some interesting comments on my blog from Alex. His research notes about Sergei, that he called “Notes from Siberia,” came at the perfect time.

Yes, it was perfect timing. As it turns out, I met Sergei Kourdakov in the fall of 1972—exactly 50 years ago. My mind drifted to long ago memories as I recalled the day I first met Sergei. Little did I know then that I was going to play a part in Sergei’s life, and that Sergei would play an important role in mine. Little did I know then that one day I would write about Sergei Kourdakov in my memoir, A Rose for Sergei.

In Sergei’s autobiography, he wrote that he wanted to find out more about his mother, father, and brother. After checking a database of victims during Stalin’s repressions, Alex’s response was: “His [Sergei’s] granddad might have had a different surname. There was a practice that small children of repressed parents were separated and their surname changed by authorities. Although in past it's common for overall Russia that surnames of siblings might have got changes in spelling. Or even brother can get totally different surnames especially in such cases as described in book when after revolution Bolsheviks started to do dekulakization. Brothers held different surnames and divided property to save it. As well in the past people with education tended to change the ending of surname to have it more Russian sounded if they had a Ukrainian or Belarusian version.”

Regarding a discrepancy in Sergei’s book, Alex said: “Sergei mentioned Konstantin Koptelov one of Russia's most popular writer who won the Lenin Prize for Literature. But he mixed it up. There is only one writer Koptelov but with name Afanasiy who won USSR State Prize instead but only in 1979.”

Regarding this possible mix up of writers, I do believe Sergei met a famous Russian writer. The exact name, or award, may have been misunderstood during transcribing from an audio tape. Sergei recorded his book on audio cassette tapes. From those recordings, someone typed his manuscript. From my own secretarial experience in the 1970s, transcribing from audio tape directly to your typewriter was a very difficult, time consuming process. Plus you had to constantly rewind the audio tape if you couldn’t make out what the person was saying. Throw in the fact that Sergei’s accent was quite heavy and that added another level of difficulty. I can see that a name/word could be easily misunderstood, or the recording “blipped” at that second and only part of the name was available.

I found it interesting that Alex mentioned the English version of The Persecutor differed slightly from the Russian version Forgive Me Natasha in some places, especially regarding location.

Alex also noted that he was shocked when he heard Sergei’s voice from the Forgive me Sergei documentary film: “…He did not have typical Russian accent and was talking fluent! Most of Russians never got to talk English properly. There is great language barrier which takes years due to different way of thinking and mentality. As well as native English people will always sound non Russian even after many years of learning. Sergei was phenomenally talented!”

Heartfelt thanks for your comments and research, Alex. Since your “hello” went out to me, and Author Dane Cramer, I forwarded all your notes and web links to him also.

And I absolutely agree that Sergei Kourdakov was phenomenally talented.

___________

Sergei Kourdakov’s autobiography was published under three titles:

The Persecutor - Sergei - Forgive Me, Natasha

The Writer Talks! | Sergei Kourdakov

I recently had the opportunity to talk about Sergei Kourdakov on the podcast program, The Writer Talks! The interviewer/author, Asha G. Kumar, engages with award-winning writers as well as indie authors from across the world as she asks them to share their books, writing process and love of literature.

I was thrilled when she reached out to me to discuss my book, A Rose for Sergei. Of course I said “yes” when she invited me on her podcast. Ms. Kumar is a writer, has a Masters in English Literature and 14 years experience as an educator, as well as a lifelong enthusiasm for literature.

I felt like I was talking with a dear friend right from the beginning of the interview. Asha’s introduction was heartfelt as she began:

The thing about memories, our fondest, happiest or the most painful experiences are etched in our forever memories. Have you ever held onto an unspoken memory… for decades maybe? Well my guest today, author Kolleen Kidd has done precisely that. She has held onto an unspoken secret memory for four decades… and finally decided to relive it freely by penning her captivating memoir, A Rose for Sergei.

* * *

Watch the YouTube podcast by clicking below.

A Rose for Sergei by Kolleen Kidd on The Writer Talks!

Sergei Kourdakov | Round Trip Ticket

The following short fiction story was inspired by my writers group. The writing topic was, “Who would you meet in heaven?” Once I got home from the meeting, the story unfolded quickly. And, yes, someone really did wonder what would happen if you met your enemy. My imagination took off in an entirely different direction.

* * * * *

Round Trip Ticket

by Kolleen Kidd

    The topic from Writers’ Roundtable was, “Who would you meet in heaven?” We all agreed that it was an interesting subject. The talk around the table increased. “What if you met Napoleon in heaven, what would you say to him? What if you met your enemy?”

    I chuckled softly. I never thought about meeting enemies in heaven, I only wanted to meet good people. But my writer friends clued me in on that possibility. We ended the discussion clearly looking forward to all the possibilities when we read our stories the following week.

    Once at home, I nuked some hot water for my orange herbal tea, grabbed a chocolate biscotti and headed to my computer. Before the meeting I had noticed some odd stats on my book blog website and wanted to check it out. Hmmm…twenty-seven page views from Austria in one day was a little peculiar, but it’s possible.  Seems okay, I thought as I signed out of my blog and waited for my desktop settings to appear.

    Nothing happened though. No Google icon, no Twitter or Facebook icons. I was half expecting the “black screen of death.” Instead of that I was facing a blank, glowing white space. In seconds a message appeared smack in the middle of the screen. Bright, bold yellow letters formed to spell out: “Congratulations, you have won a round trip ticket to…heaven! Click here.”

    I shook my head back and forth and mumbled, “Great, I have a heaven virus on my computer.” The smart part of me knew not to “mouse click” on anything inviting me to click on it. But my curious side caused me to reach out and touch the word “heaven.” Who wouldn’t want to touch heaven?

    Instantly, I was drawn into a sea of beautiful swirling clouds as I felt the wind rushing past me at lightning speed. I wasn’t afraid, I felt peace and love when I arrived at…at where I wasn’t exactly sure. But there was a pearly white gate and a light so bright behind it that I was pretty sure it had to be heaven.

    An angel materialized in front of me and confirmed that I indeed was at heaven’s gate. His wings extended the full length of his body and kindness radiated from his face in golden rays of light. He was quite tall, but then he was floating above me.

    He told me he was Archangel Gabriel, a messenger. One of his angelic duties was to support writers and journalists. His words were music to my ears. It was comforting to know that writers really had a special someone looking over our shoulders. I told him I had once sensed a presence when writing but seldom shared that information.

    “I’ve been with you throughout your writing journey,” he beamed. “But that’s not the real reason for your visit today.”

    I leaned slightly to the right as I tried to peer around him. I longed to see what was behind the ornate gates. Layers of clouds in every imaginable color obscured my view. Straightening, I replied, “Actually, I’m not sure how this all came about.”

    Gabriel extended his glowing wings and floated lower. His voice was soft and calming. “Your round trip visit to heaven doesn’t actually let you inside the gates. It’s not your time yet. But you are allowed to meet one person while you’re here.”

    “What?” I cried out. “It’s not possible to choose to see only one person…my parents, grandparents, the list goes on. I can’t decide. My heart aches, Gabriel. You choose. Please choose for me.”

    “There is someone,” Gabriel boldly proclaimed. “I sense that you know who that person is.”

    I gasped as my hand flew to my heart. “Yes,” I whispered. “Yes, I do know.”

    Gabriel’s wings drew up and wrapped around his entire angelic form. “Then it shall be.” In one swift motion his magnificent wings unfurled. Wisps of clouds floated where he once had been.

    I stood motionless as feelings of love washed over me. Winds whirled around me from every direction. I closed my eyes as my hair swept wildly across my face. Visions formed in my mind of a past long gone but never forgotten.

    I reached out. 

Sergei Kourdakov | An Unexpected Encounter

The following short story is from an article I wrote for an online authors’ group. Talking about my book, A Rose for Sergei…

This true story chronicles my real-life relationship with Soviet defector Sergei Kourdakov. In 1972 our worlds collided in Washington, DC. Sergei was ex-KGB. I worked for the Department of Defense. We were both twenty-one at the time and the instant attraction surprised us both. Dating a Soviet defector during the Cold War years came with some risks. As Sergei’s and my life intertwined, I learned what it was like to be watched and followed. I learned that life is complicated when you each think the other is a spy.

I kept my relationship with Sergei a secret for more than forty years. It’s hard to keep a secret today though, especially when you can text or tweet anything, anywhere in the world in a matter of seconds. But I learned to keep secrets at a young age.

The summer before my senior year of high school, I was hired as a clerical assistant to work for the Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA). I was just sixteen years old. I couldn’t tell anyone about my work or the location of where I worked. I didn’t even tell my parents any details. When the summer job ended I was hooked. The mystery and intrigue of the intelligence world captivated me. After graduation the following year, I started working full time for DIA.

Keeping secrets was an essential part of the job–from “Eyes Only” documents, to “Need to Know” to “Top Secret Code Words.” I didn’t know it at the time, but all that training prepared me for staying silent about my unexpected encounter with Sergei Kourdakov.

So what happened…what convinced me to write a book all these years later when I never wanted to be an author? The unexpected motivator turned out to be social media. The controversial information I discovered online about Sergei Kourdakov’s life and his autobiography, The Persecutor, convinced me I needed to speak up. After all, I heard Sergei’s story in the privacy of my own apartment. I knew him personally. Feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, I was compelled to tell his story.

It’s easy enough to say one wants to write a book. In reality, it’s harder to follow through with that idea. As a result of where I worked, I had one extra step in the writing process. I was required to have my manuscript approved for open publication by the Department of Defense’s Office of Prepublication and Security Review. Since writing was never on my radar, I surprised myself when everything was completed.

After publishing A Rose for Sergei, friends who had known me for years were shocked to learn about my connection to Sergei Kourdakov. Because his book was published in multiple languages, I’ve heard from people all around the world who were excited to find out more about him. My book’s appeal seems to be universal; readers are young adults to over ninety.

This is a first-hand account. I believe Sergei had completely changed his life from the person he was in the Soviet Union. The goal for writing this book has consistently remained the same. Sergei Kourdakov longed for freedom and I wanted his trials, strength and joy to be remembered.

Still to this day…when I hear the 70’s song, “Saturday in the Park” by Chicago, I am twenty-one again, searching my apartment for hidden microphones, screwdriver in hand…stereo volume on high to cover my movements while pretending that everything is normal.

—K. Kidd

* * *

The Persecutor | A Rose for Sergei

I’ve been planning to update the book cover for A Rose for Sergei for a while. Even though I was attached to the old cover I knew it was time to make the change.

Before the Covid19 pandemic lockdown, I had talked with the manager of a local bookstore regarding an author talk. After a quick discussion, I handed him a copy of my book. When he looked at the cover, only one word slipped out. “Oh!” Even though he was interested to know more about Sergei Kourdakov, that one word conveyed so much more. Note to self back then: Update Book Cover! 

A year has passed since that meeting. Over the lockdown I played around with a few different cover styles. Yes, I could have asked a designer for help. But all I wanted was a simple red rose along with a silhouette of St. Basil’s Cathedral. It was an easy project I could create myself. Yet, I procrastinated. 

A few weeks ago I received an email from Vince Stevenson requesting an author interview on his podcast, Boomers on Books. I went into overdrive to complete the new book cover design and uploaded it to Amazon just in time for the interview.

Heartfelt thanks to author Vince Stevenson for having me as a guest on his podcast. Vince is a pro at public speaking and interviewing. He is also quite the entertainer, with a quick sense of humor. I actually missed his remark during the live show when he said that a “spy” was asking a question in the comment section.

I was nervous in the beginning of the interview, but the time flew by quickly. Upon reflection … the podcast has reminded me of how much more there is to Sergei’s story. There are still answers to be found. 

Click below for the YouTube podcast.

Kolleen Kidd talks to Boomers on Books about her memoir, A Rose for Sergei

Sergei Kourdakov | A Mysterious Life

Author Dane Cramer released a video on January 1, 2021 about some of the mystery that surrounds Sergei Kourdakov.

The YouTube video The Mysterious Life of Sergei Kourdakov release date also coincides with the 48^th anniversary of Sergei Kourdakov’s death.  I hope readers will take a few minutes to check out Mr. Cramer’s video.  As always, his work is informative and professional!  It was a nice surprise that he included my book, A Rose for Sergei.

This past week the news has been filled with stories about Russian dissenter Alexi Navalny’s imprisonment upon his return to Russia, and how he wanted it known that he would not take his own life while in prison.  Mr. Navalny’s words chilled me.

Forty-eight years ago I had heard similar words from Sergei Kourdakov as he implored me to listen to him — Sergei was calmly seated beside me as he tried to make me understand what could happen to a Soviet defector.  I can still remember his somber face, the way he looked directly into my eyes as he spoke: “I would never take my own life.  I would never do that.  Do you understand why I am telling you this?”  I fully understood all too well what he was telling me.

I’ll be on the lookout for Mr. Cramer’s next video where he discusses Sergei Kourdakov’s death.

That is where the real mystery begins.

Sergei Kourdakov
ARoseforSergei.blogspot.com

Click Below for Video

The Mysterious Life of Sergei Kourdakov

 * * *

Click Below for Blog Version

(Includes all Russian Interviews)

Sergei Kourdakov and the Quest for Truth

Sergei Kourdakov | The Girl in the Room

New Year’s Day 2021 marks the 48^th anniversary of Sergei Kourdakov’s death. From what we’ve read in police and news reports there was one other person with him the night he died. The girl in the room with Sergei was seventeen-year-old Ann Johnson. It was only a few years ago, though, that I found out that Ann claimed she was Sergei’s “fiancée.”

I was surprised about her “fiancée” claim because it was contrary to what I knew. I went back and re-read a newspaper clipping I saved from The Washington Post — Slain Defector Buried Here dated January 12, 1973: [Ann was] a young woman with whom friends said he [Sergei] enjoyed a “brother-sister” relationship.

Sergei and I had planned to spend the Christmas holidays together with my family in Massachusetts. Everything changed when we found out that Sergei would not be allowed onto the restricted USAF base where my parents lived. After that disappointing news, Sergei made arrangements to stay with the Johnson family in California. Sergei had given me the Johnson Family home telephone number so I could call him on December 25, 1972. It is highly unlikely that Sergei would have given me (his girlfriend) the phone number of his “fiancée.”

I believe it was Mr. Johnson who answered the phone on Christmas day. We wished each other a “Merry Christmas” before Sergei came on the line. That was my only contact with the Johnsons. It was also the last time I ever heard Sergei’s voice.

Of all the questions that I’m asked after people read A Rose for Sergei, there is always one that comes up repeatedly. What about Ann? Hmmm, yes. My question exactly – what about Ann?

Questions from Readers

 

Was Ann Johnson at Sergei’s funeral?

No

 

Do you think Ann was really Sergei’s fiancée?

I’m pretty sure she was not.

 

Wouldn’t a woman attend the funeral of the man she loved and was engaged to?

I agree, you would think so, but Ann wasn’t at Sergei’s funeral.  I was.

 

Have you heard from Ann?

No

 

Why do you think Ann Johnson hasn’t contacted you?

I don’t have an answer for that.

* * *

 

 

 

A House is Not a Home | K. Kidd

I know many families who aren’t traveling for the 2020 holidays this year.  Just when we thought there was an end in sight, the Covid-19 pandemic took an upswing, cancelling travel plans all around the world.

With Christmas just a few days away, and knowing I won’t be seeing all my family this year, I thought about a story I wrote in my writing group.  The topic was: Describe Your Childhood Home.  Now, more than ever, it seems like the right time to share this story.

* * *

A House is Not a Home

Sit back in your chair, relax, stretch your legs out and get comfy while I take you on a virtual tour of my childhood home.  Stay alert though… because there’s a lot to tell you about my parents’ house.

My earliest memories are of lots of sunshine, and a swing set in the back yard.  I was four years old and had an older brother and sister, and a new baby brother.  My father flew jets on the Air Force base, and my mother took care of us.  I was too young to remember what the house actually looked like.  It had a roof and rooms.  But that swing set beckoned me daily to monkey climb all over it… that is until I fell and broke my arm.  To this day I still remember staring at the bright lights on the hospital ceiling as I rolled through the halls on a gurney.  Mom was at my side telling me I would be okay. 

I remember days filled with laughter and picnics on white sandy beaches when I was six… exploring caves even though we were told it was unsafe to do such things.  And the house had a roof and rooms.  I remember with such clarity the night I couldn’t fall asleep and told my parents about the large moving dark spot on the wall right above my head.  “Hush sweetie, go back to bed, it’s only moonlight shadows playing tricks on you,” Mom consoled.  It was a good thing I was insistent and Mom and Dad came to check it out.  When they flipped on the light switch in my bedroom they saw the biggest, meanest, ugliest black spider the size of a man’s hand just inches above my pillow. To this day my fear of spiders is off the charts.

By the time I was ten, I could draw you a floor plan of our house.  The kitchen was long and narrow with plenty of room for family meals.  The basement was open with space for toys.  The ceiling in the living room was vaulted and there was a ton of room for us to all play.  It was a good thing because I now have another younger brother and a baby sister.  That brings our family to eight members.  Holidays were like magic in our house and the laughter never stopped.  Throughout the years, the aromas of home-made bread, cookies, cakes and pies always filled the air.  And winters, oh how I loved the snow and ice skating with my family. 

At age twelve, you start to see more than just rooms in a house.  I suddenly appreciated the stunning views from the kitchen window and my bedroom window.  Snow capped mountains in the fall and winter looked like paintings drawn on these windows.  But they were the real thing.  Even today when the wind whips through my hair on a cool fall day, I’m instantly taken back to family picnics in the mountains.  As our family grew, so did the happy memories.  And the love and laughter never stopped.  Roasting chestnuts over an open fire didn’t mean roasting them in your living room fireplace though!  We had to duck for cover and roll when those chestnuts popped open and shot out at everyone.  It was just another Christmas filled with family fun times.

You look at your parents’ house differently when you’re a teenager.  By now everyone is getting older, and growing taller and taking up way too much space.  “Why does this house only have two bathrooms,” was a constant battle cry.  And the house seemingly shrinks right before your eyes.  But still, it is the same.  Every birthday is celebrated with a special, delicious, home-cooked meal and Mom’s to-die-for German Chocolate Cake.  Every Friday Dad prepared his famous hot and juicy hamburgers.  I think his secret was throwing in a little bit of bacon grease in the fry pan.

I remember that the curtains were always pulled back in the house to let in the light and to take in the view of the surroundings. On the weekends, I loved to sit in the living room, cradling a hot cup of coffee in my hands, while talking with everyone.  The view outside the wall of windows in that room was spectacular… especially in the winter time, when the pine trees next to the patio were covered in snow.  

The house seems even smaller when I’m twenty-one.  Life seems more hectic, for all of us, as we change with the seasons of life.  But inside the four exterior walls of the house, the same familiar family routines continue and happy memories are made.  This was the year we made the “Magical Christmas Show” movie.  I was the magician, and stopping and starting the movie camera made that an easy trick to pull off.

Fall is my favorite time of year, so I would be remiss if I did not describe the huge wrap-around front porch at my parents’ house.  Rocking chairs and a suspended porch swing decorated this area.  There was plenty of room for everyone.  This peaceful spot had become a favorite place to relax and share funny family stories.  The rooms in the house are bigger now and joyous laughter fills the air.  There is plenty of room in the house for all my siblings, their spouses and their children to run and romp.

Being raised in an Air Force family meant uprooting and moving every few years.  Therefore, the house I’ve described is actually a conglomeration of eight different houses.  Aside from the opening paragraph in this story, the other paragraphs each represented a different house comprised of the following locations—Arizona, Okinawa, Michigan, Colorado, Virginia, Massachusetts, Texas and finally Virginia again.  I actually never lived in the last three houses I talked about.  When I was eighteen I stayed in Virginia because I was already working full-time for the Department of Defense.

What I learned over the years from all these moves is that a house really is just a structure consisting of a roof, walls and multiple rooms.  It is in fact the people inside those walls that truly make a house a home.  And the two are very different.  Home is a place filled with loving parents and siblings, happy memories, and treasured moments of life.  A house is a place to keep your possessions.

My mother explained it this way.  Her favorite saying over the holidays was, “All hearts go home for Christmas.”  She was absolutely right… home is where your heart is.— Kolleen Kidd

* * *

May Your Heart Go Home for Christmas This Year

Sergei Kourdakov – What Happened?

Over the past few weeks I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing author George Yuhasz (via email) for my blog. My first post was about his award winning children’s book, Imagine That. The second part of the interview covered his Special Agent days when he met with Soviet defector Sergei Kourdakov. After all was said and done, I just had to ask him one last question . . .

Mr Yuhasz, what was your take on what happened to Sergei Kourdakov?

I have not drawn any conclusions about what actually happened to Sergei. I did not have access to police and intelligence files. However, my professional training and experience while working as a private investigator having looked into a number of suspicious deaths (Including Jimi Hendrix) does direct me to ask questions using different paradigms. In this case, the fraud triangle of motive, opportunity, and payoff is a useful tool that may be applicable. I hope this brief exercise illustrates my misgivings in regard to the Kourdakov homicide investigation and demonstrates that more could have been done to bring a true closure to Sergei’s death.

Was Ann Johnson the only person in the hotel room when he died?

Was Ann Johnson actually with Sergei when the gun discharged?

What was Sergei’s blood/alcohol level?

Did Ann and Sergei check in to the hotel together or did one or the other check in individually?

Were the occupants of neighboring rooms during Sergei’s stay interviewed?

Was the reception clerk interviewed?

Was the hotel reservation made my phone and if so, by whom?

Was the maid(s) who cleaned the room interviewed?

Were phone calls to the room and outgoing calls from the room obtained and checked?

What forensic tests were conducted in the hotel room, i.e. fingerprints?

What was the background and training of the coroner?

Was an autopsy or other examination/tests performed?

What was the degree of involvement of the Johnson family with the organization, Underground Evangelism?

During the time of Sergei’s death, the cold war was at a high intensity and the Soviet Union was acutely sensitive to criticism, especially from its own citizens. Threats and intimidation were primary tactics utilized to suppress dissent perceived to be detrimental to their world standing and future ambitions. Killing someone who the KGB perceived as a grave threat was always an option. Sergei has several major strikes against him. He was a notorious defector and had become a public figure openly criticizing the Soviet regime. Another was that he had been trained as a radio officer and had served aboard submarines and trawlers, both types of vessels employed for spying by the Soviets. Finally, his soon to be published book, the prospect of which would most certainly raise the ire of Politburo apparatchiks, loomed large.

Underground Evangelism ultimately profited handsomely from sales of Sergei’s book, published posthumously.

The local law enforcement agency initially handling the Kourdakov case seemed to come to a quick resolution of COD [Cause of Death]. Heavy caseload? Outside pressure?

GeorgeYuhasz is a former U.S. government special agent and contractor, and has worked in the private sector as a private investigator and security consultant. A graduate of American University's Schools of International Service and Government, he also holds a M.A. degree in psychology from the University of Northern Colorado.

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Once again, thank you George Yuhasz! Your detailed responses to my questions about Sergei Kourdakov are greatly appreciated. I also believe the investigation into Sergei’s death came to a quick resolution. Definitely, more could have been done.

Imagine That | Sergei Kourdakov & The Special Agent

On this blog post I continue my conversation with Author George Yuhasz. A recent Twitter exchange with him carried this message, “We have something in common regarding Sergei.” Now that got my attention! I jokingly tweeted back, “If you knew Sergei, I’m going to fall off my chair.”

It turns out that he had met Sergei. And just like that the Twitter connection wove back through the years and linked to a specific time and place: 1972 in Washington, DC. I wanted to know all the details. “How, what, where, who do you work for?” It turns out this award winning author was a former Special Agent … who actually knew quite a lot about Sergei Kourdakov.

I didn’t fall off my chair when I read his response to my questions, but it was a good thing I was sitting down. His intriguing story about “meeting” Sergei is fascinating.

1.  In what capacity did you meet Sergei? What were your initial thoughts about him?

I actually met with Sergei twice socially with a senior DOD agent to whom I had been assigned. I was new to the intelligence community and was being given opportunities to engage in OJT [On-the-Job Training] activities outside of classroom studies and briefings in order to gain experience. Because I was young, it was thought that I could relate more easily with Sergei in a “soft” situation and that more could be learned about him in the process. My role was to keep him talking and on point in regard to specific areas of interest. The former was easy; the latter proved to be more challenging.

The first meeting took place at the Marriott Hotel Restaurant in Rosslyn, VA near Key Bridge and the Adams Street Apartments where I was living at the time. The second meeting took place at the Grog and Tankard Bar on Wisconsin Avenue in Georgetown. I found Sergei to be quite affable and extremely likeable. We bonded, or so it seemed, quickly and found common ground on a number of topics, especially sports. However, he discovered soon after first meeting that I had little interest in organized religion and appeared to be disappointed. My partner did engage him further on this subject because of the link to Sergei’s KGB history. One of the goals was to obtain as many names as possible for cross referencing and verification purposes, as well as to identify potential future Intel sources. I wrote the summary reports of these meetings (Part of my training), which were passed on for analysis and evaluation, particularly pointed toward assessing the veracity and consistency of the information provided by him during formal interviews.

Sergei would express great concern over being followed and watched constantly. I noticed that Sergei’s eyes were always moving, examining everything around him. My partner, Jack, disclosed to me later that Sergei was not under surveillance and if he was being followed it was likely the KGB. Sergei was all about staying out of Soviet hands and I had a strong impression, as did many others on our side, that he would do anything to avoid being returned to the Soviet Union. A couple of times Sergei tested our reactions by making a provocative comment. “You are spy. Yes?” I remember him remaining silent and staring at me and also that I smiled and replied, “Yes. But we are all on the same team. Yes?” Sergei’s response was to roar with laughter and order more drinks. You could not help but like Sergei but there was an underlying edge to him that left me feeling uneasy. I spoke with Jack about this and was told he shared my feelings about Sergei and to only regard him as a source, nothing more. “He could charm a king cobra” was Jack’s assessment. This statement was not lost on me because Jack had spent time in India. Before taking on this new job, I had worked undercover as a special agent with the Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs, now DEA. However, I sensed at the time that playacting in the intelligence world was going to take on altogether different dimensions going forward in my career.

2.  I know you were not involved in the official interviews with Sergei – But did you or your co-workers believe his story about defecting from the Soviet Union?

In the final analysis, Sergei’s story about defecting from the Soviet Union was considered credible as far as I know. There were inconsistencies in his story and it appeared that he exaggerated his status with the KGB. Self-aggrandizement was certainly part of his psyche. However, one thing that must have been focused upon during debriefings and interviews was his service as a radio officer. According to Sergei, he had served aboard a submarine and a trawler, both sensitive posts. I do not know what information he provided about this part of his career. However, it seems that a tremendous amount of attention was given to other areas of his life and that little, if much of anything, was mentioned of his radio officer service in pubic accounts. Curious. When Jack and I attempted to get him talking during our meetings about radio operations, Sergei changed the subject. I don’t know exactly what Sergei divulged in the “official” debriefings and interviews, particularly about Soviet radio operations. Was all the hoopla about the KGB and hardships and obstacles he faced because of his defection some kind of smokescreen initiated by him and/or our government? Why? For what purpose? Or, did the U.S. government merely debrief him for all useful information and then cast him aside?

George Yuhasz is a former U.S. government special agent and contractor, and has worked in the private sector as a private investigator and security consultant. A graduate of American University's Schools of International Service and Government, he also holds a M.A. degree in psychology from

the University of Northern Colorado.

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Thank you, George Yuhasz, for taking the time to answer my questions for this interview. I truly enjoyed reading about Sergei Kourdakov from your perspective. I did know that Sergei was very concerned about being handed back to the Soviets. He was cautious and on the lookout all the time. However, I never observed that boastfulness, that false bravado side of Sergei. He was quite the opposite whenever we were together, very down to earth in fact.

I was shocked to discover that Special Agent Yuhasz met with Sergei at the Key Bridge Marriott for a “soft” unofficial meeting. After reading that, it was no wonder Sergei thought I was a spy when we dined and danced at the very same place. I’m sure Sergei must have thought that was where all “spies” meet — when in fact it was only a coincidence that he and I went there too.

On my next post . . .

I have one more question for George Yuhasz.

“What was your take on what happened to

Sergei Kourdakov?”

Imagine That – Interview with George Yuhasz

I happen to think that Twitter is an interesting place to find books. There are plenty of authors who tweet info about their books daily, myself included. A recent post of a children’s book with a colorful cover caught my attention. My quick check revealed it had won several awards and the author was a former Special Agent. (Hmmm, I wondered if our paths ever crossed in the Federal Government.)

After reading all the great Five-Star reviews on Amazon, I knew Imagine That: The Magic of the Mysterious Lights by George Yuhasz would make a wonderful gift. There aren’t too many children’s books that have a motivational message woven through the story … a message that it’s never too early to set goals, and that an education is important to reach those goals.

I bought the book and contacted multi-award winning author George Yuhasz for an interview!

1.  With your background, I would have thought your first book would have been a thriller/espionage. But it wasn’t, you wrote a children’s story.  I’m curious. Why were you drawn to that genre?

I was inspired to write this children’s book by my granddaughter. Her fascination with the night sky and its celestial bodies was both infectious and provocative. The story was written not only as a labor of love, but also in response to the opportunity to celebrate the sense of wonder and awareness of young children. I hope that you and the children you love enjoy this book.

2.  What is unique about IMAGINE THAT: THE MAGIC OF THE MYSTERIOUS LIGHTS?

It is a book enjoyed and found meaningful by children and adults of all ages.

3.  What surprised you the most after writing this book?

As a neophyte author and without any expectations, I decided to enter my book in some competitions to see how I might fare. I have been really surprised and pleased that the book has been recognized for literary excellence several times since publication in April 2019.

4.  If you could tell your younger writing self anything, what would it be?

Begin writing as soon as you can and write about whatever you want.

5.  Favorite book when you were a kid?

“THE SECRET GARDEN”   by Frances Hodgson Burnett.

6.  What did you want to be when you grew up?

A police detective or a government agent.

7.  Share something your readers would not know about you.

I have always had a strong interest in natural health. My grandmother was Native American and was a healer. She taught me much about the power of nature and ritual. About fifteen years ago, I decided to pursue formal training and became certified in several modalities: Traditional Naturopathy; Reflexology; Clinical Hypnotherapy. I am very proud of my herb and vegetable garden.

8.  If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be?

Kind-Grateful-Thoughtful

9.  What else are you working on?

I’m currently working on a suspense novel and another children’s book.

George Yuhasz is a former U.S. government special agent and contractor, and has worked in the private sector as a private investigator and security consultant. A graduate of American University's Schools of International Service and Government, he also holds a M.A. degree in psychology from the University of Northern Colorado.

George is a passionate advocate for the preservation and protection of our natural world. A proud father and grandfather, lifelong learner, and world traveler, he especially delights in sharing with children and adults his knowledge and enthusiasm for appreciating the joy and wonder of connecting with nature.

Available from Amazon

WINNER-Outstanding Children's Fiction Illustrated Category

FINALIST-Children/Juvenile Fiction Category

Awarded by the Independent Author Network 2019 Book of the Year Awards

WINNER-GOLD MEDALIST Children's Books AGES 6-9

Awarded by the Wishing Shelf Book Awards - 2019

DISTINGUISHED FAVORITE - Children's Inspirational Book Category

Awarded by the Independent Press Book Awards - 2020

Indie B.R.A.G. MEDALLION HONOREE

Awarded by the Book Readers Appreciation Group - 2020

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On my next post,

I continue my conversation with George Yuhasz

and our surprise connection

with Sergei Kourdakov!