I Seriously Need to . . .

I am waiting for the final proof of the paperback version of A Rose for Sergei to be printed.  If all goes well, the paperback copy should be available on Amazon after Thanksgiving, just in time for the winter holidays.  I am so anxious for this final stage of publication . . . but not for me.  I’m anxious for others to be able to read and know another side of Sergei Kourdakov.  And at the same time, I hate waiting these last few weeks.  I’m terrible at waiting.

The best way to stave off impatience is to keep busy, and I seriously need to clean out my closets.  My simple plan is to clean out a few closets in my house while I wait.  Simple?  Maybe, but not for this procrastinator.  I think I might be like a lot of people who keep favorite items of clothing around that should have been discarded a long time ago.  It’s hard to say goodbye to memories.

And so I began the tedious process of sorting out items in a very crammed closet.  As I worked, I easily filled one bag with gently used clothes to give away.  I actually even managed to throw out a few things.  All was going great until I reached for an old coat and discovered a black silk scarf hidden underneath it.  And then everything came to an abrupt stop.  How can one plain scarf bring up so many memories?

I wrote about this very scarf in my book.  What I didn’t realize was that I still had it in my possession.  This was the scarf I wore to the visitation service for Sergei in Washington DC.  I had to go out and specifically buy it because I didn’t usually wear black.  I gently wrapped the silky scarf around my neck and shoulders.  In that moment, time stood still as the memories flooded back.  I recalled the very day I bought the scarf.  The older saleswoman surprised me when she told me I should not wear black.  Somehow, I felt she was telling me not to grieve.  I folded the scarf up and decided to keep it.

Forty-one years is a long time to keep a scarf.  But some parts of our lives are worth holding on to.