Sergei Kourdakov, a former KGB agent and Soviet naval intelligence officer, defected from the USSR at the age of twenty. A year later we met at my Federal Government office in Washington DC. We were watched and followed. “Even you could be spy,” Sergei whispered. My book, A Rose for Sergei, is the true story of our time together.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Choices

I sometimes wonder what Sergei was thinking the night he chose to leave his country.  When he looked at the surface of that cold, dark water he didn’t know the dangers hidden underneath the waves.  But he chose to make that leap anyway.

“Numb with cold, I sized up the situation the best my tortured mind would allow.  I decided I would rather die trying to find real life than continue to live as I had been living.  I would not—could not—return to the life I had known.  Even if I drowned I must not go back.”
-Sergei Kourdakov, The Persecutor (Chapter 2, pg. 19)

We make choices each and every day.  Starting from a very young age we are encouraged to make decisions for ourselves—from the clothes we wear, who we choose to be our friends, to what we want to eat.  Compared to what Sergei faced, most of our choices are easy and somewhat inconsequential.  Sergei’s choices were for survival . . . I have no food, therefore I need to steal or beg for it.  I have no parents, therefore I must learn to take care of myself.

Sergei made a choice for a new beginning and a new life.  His leap of faith into the ocean was a difficult and life-changing moment.  Once he made that choice he looked forward, he didn’t look back.

He chose freedom.


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