Where One Story Stops . . .

I had a different topic for my blog this week but ended up not posting it.  When I logged onto my site, my eyes were immediately drawn to a new comment waiting for review in my inbox.  I was surprised, even though I expected she would contact me one day.  In this case, “she” refers to Caroline Walker, the producer of the documentary film, Forgive Me Sergei.  Her movie motivated me to write my book, A Rose for Sergei.  Caroline’s and my opinions, however, differ immensely.  We are strangers, but our lives have overlapped by very unusual circumstances.  We have a lot to say about Sergei Kourdakov and his book, The Persecutor.  I believe his story.  She does not.

Excerpt from my May 4, 2015 post – The Persecutor vs. Forgive Me, Sergei:

“This film motivated me to write A Rose for Sergei.  I wanted to offer a different point of view and try to show you that maybe…just maybe, the movie got some of Sergei’s story wrong.  How easy it is to talk negatively about someone who is no longer here.  How easy it is to think that no one would care if you did.”

—K. Kidd

Comment regarding above post received November 9, 2015:

“As the producer of the documentary film, Forgive Me Sergei, who put my name, face and reputation on the line by moving forward with production after discovering discrepancy after discrepancy inside and outside of Russia -- and after raising most of the film's seed money from Evangelicals and Episcopalians in my hometown via enthusiastic talks about my exciting research and passion for the story, I can assure you that I cared VERY much what people would think about the outcome of the research shown in the film.  In the year 2000, no one controlled me, the director, or the Russians we interviewed.  And, sharing your Cold War mentality that the story was absolutely true and that the Russian government was omnipresent, I was suspicious nearly the entire time I was in Russia until a particular discrepancy proved to me that Sergei lied.  The poor Russian lady in Vladivostok who wanted to sell me Nutrisystem . . . . I was so rude to her :-(  No one could have been more conspiracy-minded than I was.”

—Caroline Walker

My response on November 12, 2015:

“Caroline, I know years of research went into the making of your movie.  I respect all the time and effort you put forth.  I bought your movie and watched it several times.  Your interviews with those in Canada, and the detective who investigated Sergei’s death in California, were very informative.  Nevertheless, the parts filmed in Russia left me skeptical.  I believe a documentary film should cover all sides of the story; therefore I wish you had continued your research and journey to Washington D.C.  If you had talked with anyone in the intelligence field, the outcome of your movie might have been different.  All personnel who came in contact with Sergei Kourdakov knew he had been thoroughly investigated by the U.S. Government.  If he had been lying about his past, it would have been uncovered years ago.”

—K. Kidd

Sergei Kourdakov - Controversy Is A Powerful Motivator

Recently I participated in an online interview about writing A Rose for Sergei.  Thank you, Ms. Andrews for featuring my book on your blog, your flattering review, and the “Five Star” rating. Review and interview questions follow:

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“I rarely pick up nonfiction books to read.  When I do read them, I almost always enjoy them, it's just that I prefer to live in my little fantasy land. :)

A Rose for Sergei is not your typical nonfiction - at least, it wasn't for me.  It's as if I was watching a real life thriller/romance unfold right in front of me.  While there seems to be some mystery surrounding Sergei's life, this story shares a side of him that many people who know of him probably don't consider.

It's all very well written, and the ending tugged at my heart.  I have to agree with the author that it is a story that needs to be told and shared.  After reading this, I'm very interested to learn more.”

—Ann Levi Andrews, Author & Blogger

Q&A:

1. What made you decide to put your story into book form?

This was a true story I never planned to tell, let alone publish.  After I saw a documentary movie discrediting Sergei Kourdakov’s book, The Persecutor, I knew I needed to write A Rose for Sergei.  Controversy is a powerful motivator.

2. Can you tell us a little bit about your writing process?

Sergei Kourdakov was a Soviet defector and former KGB agent.  It would be forty years before I put the memories of our time together into book form.  Once I made that decision, the words tumbled effortlessly onto the paper.  I already knew the events; the story is a part of my life and was always there.

3. How long did it take you to put this work together?

It took over a year for my book to be ready for publication.  Because I met Sergei at my Federal Government office, I was required to submit my manuscript to the Department of Defense Pre-Publications Office.  It was a nail-biting two months before I received word that my book was cleared for publication.

4. What was your least favorite part of the writing process?

In order to write about Sergei, I had to relive the events leading up to and after his tragic death.  When you write, you just don’t tell, you show what’s happening.  Those chapters were the most difficult for me to write.

5. How would you describe your writing style?

Being a memoir, I used more of a conversational style of writing.

6. What would you like your readers to take away from your work?

I would like readers to take a second look at Sergei Kourdakov’s life.  A Rose for Sergei is a continuation of Sergei’s story.  It reinforces his book and reveals what his life was really like in the United States.

7. What’s your ultimate writing goal?

That’s an easy question for me.  My writing goal is for people to know that Sergei’s story is real.

Going Back In Time – Would You Like Yourself?

The following question was posted in an on-line writers group that I follow:  “Think back to when you were 21 years old.  What was the best with you back then?  What was the worst?  Would you have liked yourself if you could go back in time and meet yourself?”  The author was writing about a 21-yr-old male in the early 70’s and was looking for inspiration.

That’s an easy question.  The age and time frame were perfect for me—Sergei Kourdakov and I were both 21 in 1972.  I began composing a short comment, “First, I’ll say I was happy with the decisions I made all those years ago.  They made me who I am today.”  Then I stopped writing my response and deleted it.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized there is no easy answer for me.  If I actually went back in time it would be difficult to conceal the things I knew were about to happen.  I signed out of the discussion group for the evening.

I was intrigued.  The idea of going back in time to meet myself stayed with me.  So, if I could go back in time, what would I say to my 21-year-old self?

* * *

My time travel machine doors open to reveal I’ve arrived at my destination.  It is the fall of 1972.  I’ve just stepped into the living room of my apartment in Arlington, Virginia.  I see the shocked look on the face of a young woman with long, sandy blonde hair.  It is me, only forty years younger.

Older Self:  “Hi.  It’s me.  Or should I say, it’s you in the future.  You look shocked, but don’t be.”

Younger Self:  “How?  What?  Yes, I’m shocked.”

Older Self:  “I can’t stay long, and I can’t say anything to change the future while I’m here.  I just wanted to say hello and see how you’re doing.”  I see a smile finally creep across her face.

Younger Self:  “I love being 21.  I’m having the best time.  I really like my job with the Federal Government, and I just got my own apartment.  I’m about to go on my first date with this handsome Soviet defector I met at work yesterday.  He’s 21 also.  But you already know this…you know about Sergei Kourdakov, don’t you?”

Older Self:  “Mmmm…very much so.  Yes.”

Younger Self:  “I’m sooo happy, but I’m concerned.”

Older Self:  “What are you concerned about?”

Younger Self:  “Sergei told me he’s being followed.”

Older Self:  “All I can tell you is to keep making good choices in life.  And you’re stronger than you realize.”  The time machine starts to flash a warning.  “It’s time for me to go.”

Younger Self:  “But wait, please wait.  Before you leave I have to know one thing.  Can you at least tell me if I’ll be just as happy in the future as I am now?  That shouldn’t change the future if I know that.”

Older Self:  “You will be incredibly happy.  That’s all I can tell you.  Oh, guess what?  You’ll write a book some day.  I think I can tell you that, too.”

Younger Self:  “I don’t think that’s ever going to happen.  I’m not a writer.  Oh, that’s Sergei at the door now.  Wait, don’t you want to see him before you have to leave?”

Older Self:  “I can’t, you know that.  I can’t do anything to interfere with the future.  He must not see me.”

I step into the time machine and wave to my younger self who I know has a whole wonderful life ahead of her.  In the blink of an eye I’m back in the present.  There was no way I could warn my younger self that Sergei will die from a horrible accident in a few months.  She/me will have the strength to overcome that tragedy.  I couldn’t risk Sergei seeing me either.  He would surely have noticed that split-second-flicker of concern in my eyes.  He would know that something was terribly wrong.  I could not change the course of events to come.

The Nurse's Diary - Sergei Kourdakov

Recently I received an e-mail that made me catch my breath.  Sheila U., the daughter of the nurse that helped save Sergei Kourdakov’s life, had just located her mother’s diary.  And attached to the e-mail were photocopies.  Yes.  That nurse.  Her diary.

It isn’t possible, it just isn’t possible, I kept telling myself as my eyes flew across the scrawled handwritten pages.  The date at the top of the diary entry was September 4, 1971.  That meant the pages she sent me were written forty-four years ago this very month.  And the woman who wrote the entry was the nurse who helped save Sergei Kourdakov’s life hours after he jumped into the sea off the coast of Canada on September 3, 1971.  Sergei had just defected from the USSR.  Later it would be a startling revelation, and a story that she shared with her daughter over the years. Below is an excerpt from the diary, some personal information has been removed.

From The Diary of Ruth Stafford:

Sept. 4, 1971

Sergie Khourdakov, the Russian sailor, jumped from a Russian fishing boat in Tasu Sound [British Colombia, Canada] about midnight and nearly 8 hours later crawled up on the beach behind Sander’s.... And there he was, blue and vacant-eyed with bleeding hands, feet & legs on the cold cement with only a pair of wet, cut-off pants….  It was obvious he was suffering from exhaustion & exposure (it had been a cold, windy, rainy, stormy night) and was near collapse.

It was several hours before he began to warm up with blankets, hot water bottle & sips of tea, during which he’d awaken confused & frightened.  When he became more rational he suddenly pulled out a plastic bag from his shorts.  It contained photos, and other personal papers which were all wet.  We laid them out to dry.  This was his first indication that he realized we were friends and he was soon trying to converse; learned “yes,” “no,” “okay,” “Thank-you-very much.”  Bob said that for a time he was worried about him as he had an irregular heartbeat.  However, color & vital signs improved rapidly and by 1 p.m. he was jolly & had eaten a light meal.  The RCMP [Royal Canadian Mounted Police] arrived & we received some information from him via…a Russian electrician.

The mine [Tasu was a mining community] bought him a set of clothes & he gave Bob his switch-blade as a token.  He turned up his collar jauntily & sauntered off happily with the RCMP.

We are convinced that his physical fitness & determination & youth played a major part in his survival in such cold waters for such a length of time.  He was tall with powerful chest, shoulders arms & legs – and rather attractive, I must add.

After several days in jail in Prince Rupert, Vancouver, & an unknown length of time in Quebec City he was granted political asylum….

Even though Sergei had told me about the day he defected from the Soviet Union, he left out the dramatic, anguished details about his fight for survival in the treacherous sea.  I know he didn’t want to alarm me, and he certainly didn’t want my sympathy.  I was overwhelmed with conflicting emotions as I read the pages from the nurse’s diary.  For me, seeing the actual written words brought Sergei back to life for a few short minutes.  I was reminded of his strength and humor.  It was hard to read that Sergei barely survived, that his body was bruised and blue.  In spite of everything, Sergei’s fun-loving personality was quite evident when he turned up the collar on his shirt and excitedly walked towards his new life and freedom.  In every way, Sergei was larger than life itself.

 Actual diary page superimposed over Sergei Kourdakov's picture.

Sergei Kourdakov - "I've Made It"

On my August 31, 2015 blog post I mentioned how surprised I was to receive an email from Sheila U., the daughter of the nurse who helped save Sergei Kourdakov’s life in Canada all those years ago.  In her email she included photos, along with her notes, of the area on Queen Charlotte Islands where Sergei was found.  I was spellbound by the pictures and thought about the day Sergei made his death defying swim to Canada—he was only twenty years old, how desperate Sergei must have been to defect from the Soviet Union, and how freedom was worth everything to him.

From The Persecutor (Chapter 2, Battle for Survival, pg. 20)

“I swam strongly toward the sound.  As the fog and driving rain cleared for a moment, I peered through; there it was—a huge, tall rock rising out of the water!  A real rock!  The noise I had heard was the roar of the breakers crashing against it.  It was rock—good, solid rock!  I had reached land!  I’ve made it!  I’ve made it!  My heart leaped for joy.” - Sergei Kourdakov

"This is what the town-site of Tasu (British Colombia, Canada) looked like when I lived there.  It had a population of approximately 1000.  To the bottom left are 2 tugs.  Tugs pulling barges brought in all of our food and supplies.  The gravel strip that meets the ocean, slightly to the right of the tugs is where the sea-planes parked after landing.  This was the only way in or out of this remote community (no road access!).  The hospital is not visible but is in the bottom right hand corner.  Sergei washed up on a beach on the opposite site of the island (the top 1/3 of the photograph, in the centre, where the houses meet the ocean)."

- Sheila U.

http://www.tripmondo.com/canada/airports/ytu-tasu-water-aerodrome-airport/

"This is what Tasu looks like now.  It was abandoned in the mid-80’s due to a bad mining economy.  It was bulldozed and the community is completely over-grown now.  This view is looking at the Island from the opposite direction (towards the mine-site on Morseby Island).  It is the direction Sergei would have swum from and the beach he landed on is likely the bald patch in the center, slightly to the left (in the trees)."

- Sheila U.

http://www.panoramio.com/user/3199092

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My heartfelt thanks to Sheila U. for sending me these photos and for taking the time to include notes with the pictures.

Sergei Kourdakov – I Stumbled on Your Blog

Checking my email, I found two interesting topics in the subject line.  The first email subject stated that a couple was awarding me $1.5 million.  Oh, nice.  I delete that one immediately.  But the second email?  That was truly a one-in-a-million surprise.  It was from the daughter of the nurse in Canada who helped save Sergei Kourdakov’s life after his near-death swim to freedom when he defected from the USSR.  Reading her email gave me goose bumps.  I wrote back immediately saying that I was thrilled she contacted me after finding my blog.  Through a twist of fate and circumstances our lives are now connected on a more personal level.

Part of her email:

“I stumbled on your blog . . . and then I saw your email address.  I grew up hearing about Sergei Kourdakov.  My mom was a nurse on the Queen Charlotte Islands.  (We lived in Tasu when I was little).  She had many stories of her adventures there.  One of the stories I grew up hearing about was the time a young man washed up on the beach.  A Russian sailor who had jumped ship.  In her diary she writes about running behind the ambulance to go help revive him.  She laid all his photographs out to dry and was the first person he saw when he opened his eyes . . . . It wasn't until I grew up and read his book [The Persecutor] that I understood the full significance of his story.  Until then, I didn't know what his past was, what he was escaping, or who he had become . . . .”

—Sincerely, Sheila U.

Part of my response:

“. . . without your mother’s assistance, Sergei’s story might very well have ended on that beach on the Queen Charlotte Islands . . . .  Your mother held Sergei’s life in her hands, and yet she also knew to save his photographs.  In my book, when I wrote about holding those very photographs, I said that it felt like I was holding Sergei’s entire former life in my hands.  Your mother knew those photos were important to him.”

—Sincerely, K. Kidd

I still marvel at how the Internet provides connections that were never possible before.  I truly enjoy hearing from people, and I love finding out how Sergei Kourdakov touched so many lives.

Sergei Kourdakov - An Unexpected Encounter

It was an unexpected encounter.  I had no idea who the muscular young man was standing in front of my desk at work.  My boss introduced him as Sergei Kourdakov.  The minute Sergei smiled at me and spoke in his heavily accented English; I realized he was the Soviet KGB defector my boss had told me about earlier in the day.  My first thoughts were, he’s young, he’s very handsome, and he’s still holding on to my hand after the introductions.  That’s where my story began in the fall months of 1972.

More than forty years later, that unexpected encounter turned into my book, A Rose for Sergei.  A story I planned to keep to myself turned into a story I ended up sharing with the world.  The decision to write this book did not come easily.  It only came about when I learned that no one was speaking up on Sergei Kourdakov’s behalf after the movie documentary Forgive Me Sergei disclaimed his former life in the Soviet Union.  I discovered that controversy makes a great motivator and began writing.

Through blogging and writing this book, anyone doing an internet search about Sergei Kourdakov or his book, The Persecutor, should come across A Rose for Sergei.  Just recently my book became available in a few public libraries.  I was shocked when I found out how it was listed in WorldCat, the world’s largest network of library content and services.  What I considered a romance/ love story is filed in their system under:  Kourdakov, Sergei + Persecution + Soviet Union + Biography. 

It was an unexpected outcome.

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On the Library Shelf!

Ask your local library about stocking this book.